1. Make snide remarks every time you see your friend. without fail. Your friend should be put down at all times. Who needs encouragement?
2. Belittle every dream, vision and plan your friend has. If they tell you their hopes for the future, laugh heartily and categorically inform them that it will never happen. 3. Refuse outright to do anything for your friend, even little things that you have the capacity to do. Just say no. They have hands and legs!
4. Talk incessantly about your friend behind their back. Tell all who care to listen about their secrets. There is love in sharing...
5. Always lie to your friend. When they do things wrong, do not tell them. Never give advice or urge them to rethink a decision. Just nod, agree and watch gleefully as they make a mistake.
6. Continually make your friend attend to your every whim and fancy. If they refuse to serve you, tell them what a terrible friend they are. Send them on errands and ignore the fact that they too have a life to live.
7. Ignore your friend as much as you can get away with. Do NOT be quick to respond to any form of message. Hardly spend time together. It really is such an effort.
8. Consistently hold grudges against your friend. Keep a detailed record, preferably in eXcel, with precise dates and times. Always bring up the past, its good for their memory...
9. Repeatedly be disrespectful to those your friend holds dear. Parents, siblings and other friends. You’re not directly friends with them so why be kind?!
10. Make sure you wish your friend all the bad in the world. They should not succeed because attention will not be on you. Try with all your might to ensure that they do not achieve their destiny or reach their eternal rest.
If, and only if, you follow these steps religiously, you are well on your way to becoming a terrible friend! :|
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